Learning to crochet is pretty easy and once you get the basics down, its fun to add new stitch techniques and patterns to your repertoire. I'm still a beginner and have been focused on making the perfect crochet owl hat (as followers of @kuwaitmomsguide on Instagram know). So far I've made four hats - none of them have come out the same though each time I'm using the exact same pattern! 

Anyway, while I'm perfecting the process I wanted to try a few different types of stitches so that I would also be learning new technique even while practicing the hat. Today I added the spike stitch to the hat I'm working on. I won't show the hat but wanted to introduce the spike stitch here and know if anyone else is familiar with it. 

There is a spike stitch step-by-step tutorial on Craftsy.com as well as plenty of YouTube videos that show how to do it. I've included the guide below as a PDF in case anyone wants to save it and a short video tutorial if you learn more easily that way. 

The Pediatrics & Neonatal Department at Kuwait's Adan Hospital will hold a Disabled Child Care (DCC) Clinic every Tuesday. The clinic will offer multidisciplinary care for disabled children with a pediatrician, dentist, physiotherapist, clinical nutritionist and other specialists all in attendance. The aim is to reduce the burden on parents and caregivers and the children themselves of having to make multiple doctor and hospital visits. 

The Adan Disable Children's Department handles conditions including cerebral palsy, complex orthopedic conditions, seizures and neurological disorders, spina bifida and others. 

Telephone: 2394-0600 and directions

I found this interesting article about the things we shouldn't say to our children and what we should say instead. The advice included ideas like: don't use 'good job' but instead focus on the effort the child puts into whatever you are praising him for. Don't bribe kids or tell kids they are smart (again, you should instead focus on the effort the child puts in.) 

The argument is that by focusing on the child and offering positive praise instead of focusing on the effort put in, we "teach children to stop trusting their internal guidance system, to become deceptive, to do as little as possible, and to give up when things get hard."

Did you get that? 

By telling our kids they are 'good or smart', we are teaching them to become 'deceptive'. I had to read it twice before the reality of what the author was saying became clear. 

I like the idea of focusing praise on effort. But at the same time, this is a bit much. To follow the argument to its logical conclusion, what its really saying is that if we don't follow this advice, our children could - and probably will - turn out to be liars, slackers or ultimately, failures in life. And it will be all OUR fault!

I keep a list of things I plan to teach my children that I think will serve them well in life. Its full of skills and values and ideas that I think are important. But its only a general guide - not a to-do list for every single day. I also believe that we can evolve and that knowledge and research has given us many tools to improve upon our parents' parenting philosophies and styles. 

That said, I think maybe we spend too much time nowadays worried about how every single thing we do and say affects our children. My parents fought in front of us, never used positive praise and would spank us when we misbehaved. None of that resulted in us kids turning out to be slackers or thieves or liars. 

The hidden message beneath all these psychological tips on how to raise your kids is that everything you do can have a negative impact on your child's future success - and if they fail, it will be your fault. The hidden guilt trip is pervasive in much of modern day parenting advice. 

All of us want the best for our kids. When we hear that telling our child he's smart rather than saying 'son, you did a great job stacking those blocks' teaches him the wrong message ( and that this can lead him to becoming a liar) suddenly you feel like a failure.

I admit, I've said 'Good job!' when my girls have done something right. I've said 'You're smart' to my two year old more than once.  

The last thing I need is to feel like everything I do is wrong and that I'm failing as a mom. Worse no one wants to think they are the reason their child is a thief or liar! 

I constantly worry that I am not doing the best I can for my kids. I often feel overwhelmed and like a failure. Do I really need more reasons to think I'm screwing up? 

I love learning new ideas and am always open to advice on how be a better mom. But some days  I just want to be. To hug my kids and yes, scream at them too and live this life we have and be grateful and not always be bombarded with tips that imply I'm failing. 

Teaching our children to be self confident requires that we moms should also feel confident in our decisions and choices. Maybe those writing tips about the impact parents' words have on children should also consider the impact their words have on the moms who inevitably read them. In my opinion, they should focus on the effort we put in - and offer specific praise for it for that once in a while.  

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.” - Octavia E Butler

We are our children's first teacher, their model and their guide. But often we don't examine the values, the skills and the ideas we want our kids to have - we just do and hope they pick it up. 

Some time ago I started writing down a list of things I want to teach my daughters. It may seem silly or unnecessary but I found the list super useful as a guide to helping me choose activities for them and also as a way to frequently remind me that I am their first role model. I call it my ultimate values list (sort of like a bucket list for parents and kids).

So I thought I'd share it here with you. Have other moms in Kuwait created similiar lists? Have you ever sat down and really thought about what you will teach your children? 

Sadu House will hold a Family Fun Workshop for children (ages 6 and up) and adults on Saturday 14th December from 9am to 12pm to create beaded bobbin bracelets. Cost is KD 10 and all materials and equipment will be provided.

Bait Sadu (Sadu House)
Telephone: 22432395
[email protected]

I found this Advent Calendar kit at Lakeland in Marina Mall. I love the idea as it helps kids practice learning concepts like days, weeks and months and especially because this was a calendar that the kids could help create. 

The construction turned out to be much more work than I anticipated (a few hours of sewing involved) and so we ended up being really late. The girls wanted to add ladybugs, butterflies and glittery pompoms - not exactly holiday icons but in the end I think it turned out lovely and all that's left to do is add their names, hang it up and fill it with chocolates and small toys. 

Instead of using it as a calender though (I also had a problem with the numbers/dates), I'm going to treat it as a stocking and fill it with treats, little love notes and surprises for Christmas Day.  

Some tips if you want to create your own calendar:

1. Plan ahead and keep it simple. 
2. Involve the kids. Let them help choose the decorations or crafts. (I wish now I'd started earlier and got my supplies from the crafting wonderland in Hawally. But at the same time, the kit made it super easy to do and the backing for the calender is durable and perfect for hanging and we will be able to keep it again for next year. 
3. Include photos, trinkets, tokens or drawings from the kids on the calendar as decoration. (I waited too late to start my calendar but next year we'll add laminated photos of the girls and decorations that they make.) 
4. Be sure to include their names somewhere.
5. Don't just fill it with chocolate but also include small gifts, notes and reasons to be thankful.
6. Remember you only need 24 days!